Resisting Happiness (2016) by Matthew Kelly

 


Resisting Happiness (2016) by Matthew Kelly

This is one of those “learn to be your best self” books that I have mixed feelings about, but I truthfully got a lot out of it. The main idea Kelly presents here is to strengthen your resolve against the complacencies that hold you back from your full potential - reframing your state of mind, and making deliberate changes of habit.

One of the most poignant ideas presented here is to escape the snare of abusing control as a route to happiness. I’m exceptionally guilty of this - trying to organize my whole life into neat little boxes, convincing myself that if I achieve “x”, or make “y”, or buy “z”, I’ll be fulfilled. But the most freeing glimpse at a contrary, more truthful, happiness comes from the realization that God has a plan for each of us - and if we’re willing to follow it, we’ll find relief from the stress of maintaining fruitless control, and comfort in the assurance that we’re on the right path.

Another standout point (as morbid it may sound) is to pursue the things we’ll wish we’d done when we inevitably find our ankles in the dirt. And when we’re conversely stuck in tedious or exhausting work, we can make the most of it by offering the labor as an intention for someone in our life who needs God’s help.

Reflecting on the slew of ideals in this book, I often felt exceptionally sub-standard - distant from the mindset and habits crucial to being properly happy. But Kelly tackles healthy ways to self-assess in that daunting pursuit, too. Some of the more impactful ideas in this vein are not to strive for the impossible goal of being the “best”, but rather, to be a better person than you were yesterday - and not to unfairly judge yourself against others. Kelly notes that God gives each of us exactly the perfect balance of gifts and traits to achieve what's best for us, and that balance is rightfully different for everyone.

I hate to admit that I subscribe to what can easily look like the deceptive ramblings of some zealous self-help preacher, but Resisting Happiness has really had a positive impact on me - and I’m glad I moved past my dismissive preconceptions to give it a candid, open read.

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